


The Ones Who Fall

by Pokinnn



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst and Tragedy, Angst with a Hopeful Ending, Childhood Friends, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Slight worldbuilding, The Underground (Shingeki no Kyojin), The undergound is sliiiiiightly different btw
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-08
Updated: 2020-11-24
Packaged: 2021-03-08 01:08:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 11,540
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26867158
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pokinnn/pseuds/Pokinnn
Summary: "There are three types of people: Those above, those below, and those who fall."(A young boy with sunshine hair and sky blue eyes falls through a cavern hole and lands in the underground scrapyard. There, a hardened but fragile street urchin finds him, befriends him, and must ultimately decide whether to keep him in the darkness below, or return him to the world above... even if it means losing him.)
Relationships: Furlan Church & Levi & Isabel Magnolia, Furlan Church & Levi & Isabel Magnolia & Erwin Smith, Levi & Erwin Smith, Levi/Erwin Smith
Comments: 6
Kudos: 43





	1. Down the Hole

**Author's Note:**

> Based on [that tweet](https://twitter.com/Pokinnnn/status/1306382888879951872?s=20) I made a while ago. Also based on that one quote from El Hoyo (2019)

Levi darted around another corner, old shoes skidding across the pavement - his pursuer’s fingertips just barely grazing the edge of his hoodie - before he vaulted over a wooden crate and dipped into the shadows once more, ignoring the livid swears of the man he left behind. 

He knows that tone of voice, what that breed of violent language entails: the next time that merchant finds him, he’ll kill him. _Actually_ kill him. Levi looked down at the armful of bread rolls he swiped, tried to imagine what the same amount would look like in the arms of Furlan and Isabelle, and decided that ought to be enough for the next week or so should they ration it carefully. With luck they won’t have to hit that market street for a while, and with a miracle in a couple of months the old man may forget what they even looked li-

**_BAM!_ **

Levi jolted away from the sound, dropping a few rolls before scrambling the opposite direction. He fled back onto the busy street and caught Furlan's retreating figure in the corner of his eye knowing - just _knowing_ \- their meeting spot’s been blown and there are several more pursuers chasing after them now. “Levi!” Furlan shouted. "Find me by the caps!"

His special code for the scrapyard. Levi nodded and the two boys split off in different directions, Levi casting one last glance behind him before turning into a corner and darting up the street past Ezri’s brothel, into the shadowy alley by the ministry, crunching past broken bottles and puddles of urine to his favorite hiding spot. With the one source of overhead light always to the left, the right side of the building had a constant tent of darkness in its corner, perfect for a small figure like him to blend into. He crouched into its shadow with the relief of a child curling into their mother’s arms. 

Immediately the temperature cooled and his hands were lost in an inky fog. For the first time in hours he gave himself the permission to breathe, airing out his consent with a sigh. He crouched there for a moment, considering whether he should let himself fully catch his breath before deciding against it and pushing on, pressing up on his tip-toes with his hands outstretched. He brushed his fingers along the cool stone walls, drifting it back and forth in a swiping motion before he felt the sharp edge of a glass shard. “Fuck!” He jumped back and swatted his hand in the air. _Fucking window. Every time._ He tucked the rest of his bread rolls into his pouch and reached up again, gently pushing away the rest of the shards and grabbing onto the ledge. Just as the sound of angry footsteps began to near, he hoisted himself up and jumped inside, hitting the floor and curling to his knees to hear them run past the building and down the road. 

Once again saved by the goddesses. Levi stepped towards the center of the cathedral, his every step muffled over the old red carpet as he peered around. Though his mother used to like coming here, he certainly hadn't, and the appeal seemed less enticing than ever before; the building was no longer loud or colorful or even clean. It was just sad. Abandoned and left behind like a tucked away memory. Despite using it as a safehouse on occasion, he just felt like an interloper every time he stepped inside, no more welcome than a pesky mouse or encroaching spiderweb...or curtain of dust floating in the air. Damn this place fell out of touch.

Levi stepped out of the dark and crossed over towards the line of light in the center, facing the side of the building where just the faintest rays of sun reached. From here he could see the Hole at a distance - a massive ancestor of a sinkhole that'd caved in hundreds of years ago, now his makeshift sun and the closest he’ll ever get to see the world above. _What the sky could like from up there,_ Kuchel would sigh, and when they came here she'd sit them as close as they could get to the windows and just stare at the distant- 

“Stop it,” Levi muttered. He pushed one of the dusted-over benches towards the window and threw his leg over the ledge, glancing once more into the building. At the front, below a series of smashed glass stained windows was a marble plaque of the three goddesses’ heads, chins angled to look up with revering eyes. Levi had always hated it for some reason. 

_"Do they ever see us?"_ he had asked once. _"Do they ever look down?"_

* * *

His trip across town towards the scrapyard was mostly uneventful, even feeling somewhat safer the farther he got from the light and the further he descended into the darker depths of the underworld. From some point between passing the first level down he stopped seeing glass windows facing towards the light and more boarded up ones, faint rays of light replaced by candles and makeshift lights illuminating the streets. Once he descended into the second level most windows were completely cemented over and sharply protected. There were scarcely any open merchants on the streets and the town down here was noticeably less busy, quieter, the only real source of light coming from another smaller hole overlooking the scrapyard. His nose crinkled the closer he got to the entrance; whether or not this shit came from the pits or high above, trash was trash and it stunk all the same - he'd avoid it altogether if only the others believed it. A sing-song whistle came from a tower of trash above and out came Isabelle, the little spitfire swinging her legs over the heap to beam down at him. “Farlan made it before you,” she grinned, voice lisping past the gap between her two front teeth. “And you won’t believe what we found." She flashed two silver coins from the palm of her hands. Levi's brows rose.

“Where did you get that?” 

“Furlan found it up there - “ she pointed over another hill of smashed furniture and battered old strips - “past that broken wheel. He’s looking around there right now.”

 _“Guys?”_ They both turned towards the sound, Isabelle’s smile faltering at the nervous hitch of Furlan's voice. "You need to come and see this."

She was always one to gauge a reaction; glancing back at Levi's deadpan expression, she let out a breath and eased back into a smile. "Let's go see what he found, yeah?"

"Let's." They trekked together over the hill in silence, Levi nearly tripping over a pile of rags on the way down and scowling viciously before they spotted Furlan in a tall mound of trash. He had one knee hiked up over a bent pipe and a grim expression hanging over his face as he stared down at something in the pile. “I found where the coins came from,” he murmured, and that’s when Levi saw a flash of golden hair glinting in the afternoon sun. 

His scowl vanished and his eyes dropped down, spotting the body. “Oh,” he said.

It's not the first time he ever came across a dead body - let alone in the scrapyard - and it came as no surprise to him the people Above had their own dirty work to dispose of. But what made him pause, what made such a skittish thief slow down and stare was that this body was no older than him. It was a boy.

“Oh no,” Isabelle whispered. “I thought - I thought it wasn’t like that up there.”

Furlan said something in return but Levi drowned out the sound, watching the boy like a foreign creature. He had blond strands of hair that reminded him of the fancy threads old women sold in the marketplace, beckoning wandering travelers with gold teeth and sharp nails. He wore a neatly knitted cotton blue vest over a now stained dress shirt and muddy brown shorts. He had a long nose and thick eyelashes. One of his arms was twisted in a sickening angle and a wide purple bruise stretched over the side of his forehead. He looked peaceful. 

“He sure must’ve pissed someone off - ow!” Furlan ducked down and covered his head over where Isabelle hit him. “Hey! It's not like I'm the one who threw him down here!"

"Keep talking like that and I'll throw you down further!"

“Something’s not right.” Levi suddenly said. They both stopped to look at him, finding him crouched by the boy and staring intently. “If he fell in with the rest of the trash from up there,” he pointed at the hole far above them, small enough at this distance to be blocked out with his hand. “Then he would've looked more fucked than just a broken arm.”

“What’s that mean?”

“I don’t know,” he shrugged. “Something’s not adding up is all. I say we go.”

Furlan glanced at the silver coins in Isabelle’s hand, then back at the boy. “Should I-”

“Check him. He sure won’t be needing it wherever he’s going.” _Wherever mom is._ What would she think now, Levi thought, eyes drifting away from the boy’s face towards the shiny green jewel around his neck - a necklace? An accessory? He leaned forward as Furlan checked the pockets, hand circling around the smooth stone and slowly raising it towards his eye when the boy let in a sharp inhale - and Levi jolted back, swiping the necklace in one move and putting a distance between them as fast as he could. “He’s alive, let’s go!” They both turned and scrambled down the hill, Levi sparing a glance back to see Furlan struggling over a snapped pipe while Isabelle remained crouched far behind them, watching the boy steadily and even leaning closer. 

“Isabelle!”

“He’s hurt,” she called back. “If we do nothing he’ll die.”

“We don’t even know him Isi, come _on!”_

“But... It doesn’t feel right. Not this time.” 

Furlan and Levi glanced at each other. Out of the three of them she was the youngest, only recently joining their little group after losing her grandmother and becoming a street urchin herself. Living on her own for months before they met, she was by no means naive to what a life independent looked like and what it entailed, but again, out of the three of them...she lived under a guardian for far longer than they had. She knew what it was like to have it a little better. To _be_ a little better.

So Furlan paused, considering his options. He stared at the rubble, stared at the hole above, held his chin and finally snapped his gaze to Levi's. “We could take him in.” 

He gaped at him. “Did a rock fall from the ceiling and hit your head? _No.”_

“No, I mean - hear me out - he came from up above, yeah? So he’s not like us; there could be someone looking for him.” He glanced at the boy, gaze almost sympathetic before hardening again. “Someone with _money._ I say we patch him up a little and try to see if there’s a reward on him in the first floor market square."

"And if nothing comes of it? Someone threw this kid - or left him, whatever - down here for a reason."

"If we find nothing in the square, then we hold onto him until the autumn uptowns make their rounds. He's one of them, so they'll want him, and when they want him, we can start a negotiation.”

 _Right, because those holier-than-thou penny-pinching pigs are nothing if not generous_. Still though, the idea wasn’t too bad and wasn't too unreasonable considering the kid’s pocket change was more than Levi had seen in over a year. Clearly he came from someplace better than here, and if there was anyone that still wanted him they could get something out of it and walk away with far more than just a sachel of books and coins. Alright. “Fine, we’ll drag him back and see if he lives. I’m not promising anything,” he shot a pointed look towards Isabelle, but she was already grinning. “And I’m not saying we’re taking him in like some stray animal. We’ve barely got enough food as it is, so he’s getting the smallest portion and we use no more than a quarter of our supplies on him. If he steps out of line, he’s out - and if he tries anything, I’m _taking_ him out. Are we clear?”

“Aye aye captain,” Furlan sighed and Levi shook his head at the absurdity of it all, grumbling under his breath as they walked back and slowly hiked the boy up from under his shoulders, beginning the slow descent down the scrapyard hills. Closer to his face, Levi could feel weak puffs of air brushing his cheek. _Three days,_ he thought. _I give it three days before you die._

Up above, the sinkhole sky began to smudge under oncoming purples and dark blue hues. He wondered if the night up there was as dark as it was down here, if this same hour held the same meaning to this boy as they did to him. _Different shades of the same color and whatnot._ Isabelle lit a match before them and led the trio home, the three of them walking quickly to avoid getting mugged on the way back.


	2. Spun Gold and Jeweled Eyes

It pays to keep someone else alive, and the price for this boy is _ridiculous._

Due to the cold weather and further limited resources because of it, Furlan and Levi have to jump through hoops and lengths to find a cheap neighborhood nurse to patch the kid up and set his arm right. The only one willing to give them to the time of day was Anis, a part-time prostitude with a reputation of knowing how to give stiches and causing them alike. Her price for snapping the boy's arm into place and wrapping it into a makeshift cast was five days worth of hard labor and a house cleaned from top to bottom, the latter of which Levi was all too happy to accept. 

After that, it’s all work. 

Levi starts his day hungry, creaking out of bed and into a faded coat and tattered shoes to start the trek towards her house. He then works hungry, shoveling holes a mile off her property for who knows what (he knew better than to ask) before Furlan comes to work the afternoon shift and hand Levi whatever lunch scraps he’s got. He then spends the rest of his day, still hungry, scuttling about town tracking down dinner and by the time the exhaustion and the cold caught up with him he’d wander back home and toss and turn in bed until his body told him it was morning again.

All for a stranger. Given he did nothing for the team, Levi felt unashamed in disdaining him for the burden alone. 

_Feeding yourself takes enough of an effort,_ he wanted to scold him. To think every day he had to swindle, swipe and lie to snag a meal, and even then it wasn’t _every day_ that he ate. Joining up with Furlan added to his chances seeing as the kid was able to memorize several merchants’ routines and plan ahead where they’d strike next - and when Isabelle came along, she came with a knack for lockpicking and sneaking behind Levi’s footsteps, silent as his own but always ready to pick up and throw a punch when the situation called for it. 

But this kid… he drifted in and out in states of lucidity, sometimes awake enough to groggily blink at the ceiling, sometimes out cold until well into the afternoon. Isabelle tried talking to him once or twice, but after walking away dismayed the third time that day Furlan pulled Levi aside and brought him close, whispering the possibility of the bruise on his forehead and what it might entail. “Not even the best underground doctor can fix a broken head,” he grimly said. 

Personally Levi thought he already mentally checked out and his body was just slow to carry the message. Every day he came home he'd make his way up to the attic to check up on him, certain he'd find a still body and cold skin and then he'd have to wrap him up in plastic and have Furlan help him carry the body out. But that day, setting his shovel by the door and making his way up the stairs, he opened the door to the attic and rose his eyes to find the color of the sky. 

And then he went still. Somewhere in the back of his head Levi remembered scolding Isabelle for getting distracted by a flag and she said something along the lines of “it just caught my attention” - and he’d think that was the case now only this felt heavier than a catch... it felt like a conquest. His absolute attention had been claimed in an instant, ensnared into staring into two pools of pure blue, the hypnotizing colors a sharp contrast from the faded wall behind him. _Blue, blue, blue..._ the boy blinked and the spell was broken.

Levi grit his teeth. He shook his head, forcing himself away from the sky and back into the dirt - back into his world and out of the daydream. A hot pink flushed over his cheeks in embarrassment; flustered like he’d just been caught staring out the hole and suddenly feeling irritable that this boy came out from it. “Oi, brat, if you're listening I want you to know none of this is coming free. Furlan’s still out there digging to pay back what you’re getting and now I’m the one who has to go out and get us all food. If you want to eat any of it, you’d better hurry up and make yourself useful the second you can.” 

The boy just stared at him. "Where am I?" he asked.

“Hell. Do you know who you are?”

“Erwin." He briefly looked down at his hands, squinting in concentraition. "Erwin Smith.”

Levi’s brows rose; he’d been expecting a nickname, a flat out lie or a half-assed ‘I don’t remember.’ Far from the smartest move to give a stranger your full name at first meeting, but the kid didn’t seem to understand the significance of it. “Do you know anything else?”

“Not really. My head hurts.”

That's not good. “Anything?”

The boy paused, genuinely seeming to consider his answer. “…I had a bag?” he tried.

Right. Furlan had swiped out whatever money was inside and Levi had kept the rest under his bed for safekeeping. “Must’ve fallen off sometime before we found you."

“Oh.”

A moment of silence hovered over them, neither of them quite looking at each other. Levi sighed and closed the door from behind him. “Alright,” he said, ignoring the weight of those eyes watching him as he stalked across the room towards his bed. “Might as well rip the band-aid off now: you're not staying here forever, and if all goes well you won't even stay here for the rest of the week. You belong on the other side of the hole - the _surface_ \- and me and my friends here will be more than happy to help you get back up there so long as you stay out of the way, stay put, and don't cause trouble. If you leave, you're on your own, and if you stay, you're cleaning."

“I - wait, what?” he blinked. "Cleaning?"

 _"Cleaning,_ yeah.” Levi rose his chin and shot him a glare mean enough to send the boy curling back. “Or what? You thought we were planning on keeping you alive for free? Letting you sleep here with us? Tch. If you can talk, you can work; now that you're up Isabelle’s going to be watching you and if I hear a word about you slouching around or starting shit, I’m breaking that other arm and sending you back to the scrapyard with it. Got it?” He meekly nodded. "Good. Get to it."

He made his exit and with a slam of the door, Erwin had his official Ackerman welcome into their home.

* * *

To his credit, after that first encounter (and several other hostile ones on Levi’s end) Erwin began to quickly catch onto how the trio liked their house cleaned and what specificities came with it; Isabelle’s favorite pillow had to be washed and dried twice, Furlan’s growing collection of bottlecaps had to be organized and dusted daily for him to keep it (Levi’s condition), and Levi’s side of the room, notably the cardboard box under his bed, was to never, _ever_ be disturbed unless in emergency and not without his explicit consent. He learned that the hard way when he tried to wash the blankets and nearly had his wrist crushed the second the raven-haired boy caught him heading for his bed.

On the other end of the spectrum Isabelle seemed to warm up to him quite quickly. It made sense considering the two spent more time together than anyone else (since Furlan and Levi took to doing the majority of odd jobs and quick steals, often leaving her behind to keep an eye on Erwin) - nonetheless, it took Levi by surprise to walk through the door one day and find her helping the boy rewrap his arm in clean rags, talking excitedly about a bird she saw once while he nodded along with a smile.

It irked him for a reason he couldn’t name. The house could be clean and he'd find himself ordering him to sweep it down again.

“Relax,” Furlan eventually said, putting a hand on his shoulder before the look on his face had him quickly dropping his grasp. “He’s only staying with us for about a week, remember? Come Friday and we'll head to the market square and ask around for an Erwin Smith.”

“Can’t come sooner enough,” Levi muttered.

“I don’t understand to be honest - so far he hasn’t tried anything and the place looks nicer than ever. It really could be worse.”

Levi clenched his fists, frowning at the floor. _That’s the problem,_ he wanted to say. 

The truth was Levi had one, very specific, very real fear; it clawed at him throughout the day, chewing past his inner traps and scuttling through the cracks in his walls like a dirty rat. Sometimes, after long days and heavy nights he’d lie on his back long after everyone else had fallen asleep, counting the splintered wooden beams on the ceiling as he heard the steady breaths of his friends breathing and think, _not them._ He’d summon the memory of the cathedral in ruins, resurrect it in his memories and bring his mother with it, smiling, singing, praying to the three goddesses for something better. 

Only Levi’s prayers were different. He stopped asking for better the day his mother’s illness took a turn - now, he asked for mercy.

 _I don't want more,_ he’d think, small hands clutched tight onto her necklace, fingers trembling over the three goddesses’ pendants until they were white and shaking, _I don’t want anything from you. I won’t take anything from you, so don’t take this from me. Please, don’t take them from me._

And Furlan and Isabelle - he’d resent them, adore them, in one single shuddering breath before settling the necklace back into his box, placing a kiss on his mother’s favorite comb and tucking the box back under his bed, staring at the ceiling once more until his vision went blurry and sleep finally took him.

Nowadays it feels like the ghost of those nights haunts him in broad daylight, staring at him with those horrible blue eyes that take a swing at his walls with every glance. The personification of _having it better_ \- the literal devil, coming down from above, a bad omen walking the halls. _That Erwin Smith is a fucking menace,_ he decided, scowling at him so heavily the boy actually jolted away from him, turning around to lay his broom by the corner. He hesitated, simply staring at it with his back turned before saying, “You’re angry with me.”

Levi said nothing.

“Why?” he pressed.

“You might have the other two impressed, but just because you come from above doesn’t make you any special or any better - not all of us can loaf around the house all day,” he said. “Some of us have to actually _work.”_

“I can work.”

“No you can’t.” 

“Then let me help,” he shot back. “My arm’s getting better, I can even make a fist with it now. I’m sure I can handle leaving the house.”

 _Fat lot of good that one arm’ll do you._ “You know what? Fine. Sure, you can come along. This weekend we’re checking out a market strip down here in the second level. It shouldn’t be so bad, and since Isabelle’s coming along to scout you might as well join in and see for yourself just how it goes down here.”

Erwin lifted his head, chin raised defiant. “Fine by me.”

And so it was settled. Levi felt restless the next two days, almost excited to go out on a swipe for once despite Furlan’s reservations about bringing him along. He couldn’t wait for some reason, some vindictive, cruel part of him eager to see Smith realize just how different their worlds truly were, just how useless all his fancy words and his fancy vest and stupid combed hair are in the face of the worst humanity had to offer. _Fat lot of good that arm will do you,_ he’d thought, _fat lot of good anything of yours will do you now._

He remembered Kenny taking him out on his first swipe, the wide maniacal look in his eyes and the feral grin in his teeth - Levi was certain he looked a spitting image of him now, on account of Furlan and Isabelle's perturbed stares.

“...You okay there?” Furlan asked, suiting up in his darkest, skin-tight clothes - harder to see and harder to grab onto.

Levi nodded once, throwing a glance back at Erwin as he hiked up his boots. Tonight was supposedly a simple one; Furlan had been watching this vendor for over two weeks and today he was to receive a shipment, taking him away from his stall for just a moment to sign some documents. Just enough time for them to swoop in, strike his goods and take off before he comes back. Isabelle (and subsequently Eriwn) were to remain nearby to warn them if anything happens.

“Easiest one we’ve had in a while,” Isabelle whispered towards him, cupping a hand around her mouth and leaning close. “We’ll be sitting pretty for the rest of the week!”

“Not so much if you two don’t keep it down and blow our cover.” Levi almost smirked when the two quickly piped down and looked away.

They made their ways about the streets, Isabelle unable to keep quiet for so long and eventually talking about her favorite spots in town to Erwin, Furlan joining in to occasionally point out a directional marker - a noticeable feature that he could spot if he was on the run and needed a sense of direction to know where he was going. “It could be a statue or a specific structure, like uh... oh! You see that large crack going down the side of that building? Go left of it and you’ll find an alley that leads you straight to this drained fountain in the middle of a plaza, and from there there’s like five other markers you could take to either get you home or to the scrapyard. I’ll walk you through it later.”

“Ooh, if you’re going to the plaza can I come? I found some leather straps the last time we were in the scrapyard and Ricky’s buying them at two bronzes a piece!”

Levi tuned them out with a shake of his head, only looking back when Erwin almost tripped on an uneven pavement. Honestly. Between the sightseeing and Isabelle’s overexcited babbling, goldilocks here didn’t seem to have the sense to keep an eye for anything suspicious - not a glance behind to see if they were being followed, not a care in the world but looking ahead, head tilting up in wonder when they reached the entrance to a level staircase. “What’s that?” he asked.

At that, Levi paused to think. “Try to think of the Underground as like a funnel,” he said, vaguely angling his hands like a ‘V’. “At the top is the Hole, and there’s levels worth of cities below, all connected by this spiraling staircase in the center."

Erwin tilted his head. Not unlike a puppy. Levi’s gaze darted towards his bandaged arm and thought he might as well have the fighting prowess of one too. For once, for the first time if he was being honest, he decided to shove down the apprehension that came with talking to the boy and instead help him onto the steps, taking them closer to the railing as they made their way up. 

“Do you see it?” he asked, “Sometimes, do you see these rays of light coming from above?”

“You mean like the ones in the scrapyard?”

“Exactly. There’s the hole over the scrapyard where all the trash from above falls into, but the one up _there_ \- he pointed up ahead - “is the biggest there is the underground. It's shines down on the first level, right over the busiest city down here. Lots of merchants, lots of shipments...lots of military police. That’s where the most sunlight comes in and sometimes makes it way down here. It’s also where we’ll find someone who'll pay to take you back.”

Erwin said nothing at that, leaning over the railing. His eyes followed the spiral of staircases lower and lower until they faded into a pitch-black mass. “The light can’t possibly reach all the way down...what’s at the bottom?”

“Hell, probably.” Before Erwin could open his mouth they reached the top of the steps and his curiosity died under the wave of awe Levi had been counting on; at a distance was a wide, gaping hole cracking across the cavern ceiling, a pure blue circle of bright skies and, if you squinted just enough, white puffy clouds far away. Smaller cracks and fissures among the cavern walls left a scatter of stray sunbeams onto several different parts of town and the streets were filled with noise and bustling people.

“Wow,” Erwin breathed, walking ahead into a busy street, eyes shining. It was by no means sunny, or even particularly bright up here - after all there was only the one sinkhole letting in sunlight - but seeing the boy that came from above smile, Levi couldn't help but think he almost looked like a fuller version of himself. He watched a faint ray of light glimmer off his blonde hair and wondered then if the closer he got to the sun, the more of himself he’d look like. Erwin turned around and beamed. “I’ve never seen anything like it!”

 _With luck, you never will again._ Even so, for an overcrowded slumtown of cheap cracked buildings and greedy-ass slobs… it was as nice it gets down here. Levi and Furlan wasted no time getting down to business: the two boys drifted apart from Isabelle and Erwin, setting them off to run an errand before huddling in an alley with a scrap of paper laid between them. There they went over the plan one last time - marking their individual spots and where to go if something went wrong - before they took off in the direction of the vendor, poking their heads around the corner to find him following his delivery man to the waupply wagon.

Go time. Levi patted his thigh for a knife and took off, sweeping towards the back of the stall like a flickering shadow. Furlan on the other hand darted towards the front and dropped to his knees, openly grabbing armfuls of packed crackers and tin rations, filling them unceremoniously into one pack before popping open another. Levi crouched by the slide-in door behind the stall and picked out the lock where undoubtedly where the most perishable - and most valuable - goods were: this case being a sack of old apples. Actual _fruit_. He snagged the bag and slammed the door shut, sliding the lock back into place before glancing over the stall and across the street where Isabelle and Erwin were rounding the corner. The second they made eye contact Isabelle jerked her head to the left, eyes wide.

“Shit,” Levi whispered, then louder, “He’s back!” 

Furlan hopped up in alarm the same time a voice shouted “HEY!” and without a glance back took off the opposite direction, Isabelle splitting off into the crowd the same time Levi threw himself over the stall and bolted straight forward. “Heads up!” he shouted, swinging the sack into Erwin’s shocked arms and darting past him, right into the furious merchant; he threw his body into the air and striked the bottom of his heel into the man’s stomach, crashing him onto his back before hopping off and yanking Erwin down the street in a getaway.

“Levi!“ Erwin gaped, “What was that?!“ He shot a distressed glance towards the gathering crowd. “I thought you said you and Furlan were getting food, what happened!?”

“We got food,” he said back, pulling them into the alleyways.

“But you - you _stole_ them! We could get arrested, or-”

“Wait wait wait, hold it!” Without warning Levi ducked them behind a wooden crate and shoved Erwin’s head down to cover them. For a moment they simply crouched there, panting, waiting for the sound of following footsteps. When none came, Levi finally allowed himself to let out a long breath and look down. They were still holding hands. He just barely began to move away when Erwin angrily snatched his away and scrambled to his feet, glaring down and suddenly reminding Levi of all those old uptown nuns getting ready to lecture him. 

_“Levi,”_ he started and _here it comes,_ “That was wrong.”

“What was wrong?” he deadpanned, blinking innocently.

“Stealing!” Erwin turned on him. He looked the absolute antithesis of anything Levi would consider intimidating: he /barely/ stood taller than him, one arm still in a cast, dressed in that stubborn vest with blue buttons and brown shorts and neatly parted hair he’d combed with his own fingers that morning. His face still had a bit of baby fat clinging onto his red cheeks and his big blue eyes - and bigger golden brows - were scrunched into a frown with the severity of a paper cut. Somewhere deep down something in Levi might’ve even regarded him as _cute_ , if he weren’t being such a stuck-up priss right now. He only realized he was still talking when Erwin suddenly stepped away from him, holding the sack to his chest and turning to walk away.

“What are you doing?” he asked.

“I’m going to give it back and _apologize_ and maybe he won’t have us arrested.”

“You - what? No!” Levi darted out and snagged the other end of the sack, Erwin pulling back in time for them to wind up in a stand-off, glaring at each other. Levi bared his teeth in a snarl and yanked back harder. This was as close as a warning as it gets. “Give it back,” he glowered, “The only reason I’m not kicking the shit out of you right now is because, _clearly_ , you don’t know how it works down here; we wouldn’t be stealing if we the had the money to buy it.”

“Then you should have let me bought it! I have the coin!”

 _Erm._ Right, they robbed him when he was still half-dead. “And if you didn’t?” he said instead. “If you had nothing?” 

“Then I get a job!” Erwin tugged back. “Maybe if we worked for him we could’ve even gotten a discount!”

Unbelievable. Levi tsked and yanked the sack out of his grasp with ease, feeling almost satisfied at seeing the blonde jerk forward in surprise. “You surface-dwelling fuck,” he said, ripping the bag open before throwing a handful at him. “Here! Go return these, see how well that works out for you. See how acting like the _‘good guy’_ works out for you." Hmph. Levi prided himself on his thick skin, proud that he could take it in stride whenever the military police called him a dirty rat, could walk away whenever the priests from above lectured him and on and on about how to live his life as though he had the option. Yet for some reason beyond him, just the thought of standing here, covered in dirt and scrapes with the boy from above who looked no better off but _still_ found something in him to look down on...no, for some reason he couldn't let that one slide. Something in him burned low and angry. “All this talk about owing this guy, a _stranger_ , money - what about what you owe us? Huh? Did you think nursing your scrawny ass back to life came free?”

Erwin stumbled to catch the apples, awkwardly cupping them into the crook of his cast like a basket before standing up straight and fixing him with a look. For a moment Levi anticipated a blow, waited for the inevitable fight to break out between them. He nearly raised his fists to strike first when Erwin broke the silence. “All right then.” He turned around and promptly started to walk away. “I’m giving these back, then I’m apologizing and asking for a job so I can _pay_ for this, and then I’m going to pay you back everything I owe with the money I earn.”

Levi was stunned. He dropped his fists in disbelief, gaping after him uncertain what to do with the leftover adrenaline in him waiting for a fight. Finally, after having his mouth open and close like a stuttering fish, he snarled with flushed cheeks in embarrassment. “What a fucking hero!” he shouted after him, cupping his hands around his mouth. “So fucking _noble!”_ But Erwin only ignored him, refusing the bait for another fight and storming off into the streets.

The priss-prass fucker. Uptown asshole. Uptight piece of shit. Blonde little - Levi was running out of curse words. He fumed, recollecting all the times he’d kicked other kids’ asses for far less: trying to swipe a coin off him, tripping Isabelle in a game of tag, laughing at Furlan’s haircut after his disastrous attempt of doing it himself - hell, for so much as dirtying his shoes on a particularly bad day. And now Erwin took off with an armful of valuable fruit and for some reason beyond him, all Levi could do was fume and pace around in angry circles, cursing him in every way he knew how. _Oh but lo and behold,_ he bitterly swore, _he’s about to get it._ You just don’t get far in the pits playing noble acting a fool. There was just no way to put it into words just how rancid the system was - there was no room for feeling bad or looking back, and Erwin’s apology may as well be a confession to the theft itself, heavens know the merchant will take it that way.

And so Levi decided, to hell with it, he’ll watch the inevitable shit-show unfold, watch his interloper’s face the second he finally _gets it_. 

For Levi that moment had been when his uncle “sent him on an errand” with a palmful of bronze coins and a gang of street urchins ambushed him, beating him within an inch of his life. It had been a horrible day and a brutal experience, but it wasn’t the bruises or the throbbing in his stomach that stuck with him. It was the sheer depravity; children no older than himself thrashing him into pieces, tearing at his clothes and hair like a pack of feral animals - _that,_ had shocked the message into him. He spent the night curled over a puddle in an abandoned building, cutting his hair into something too short to grab onto and hardening his heart as he stared at the edge of his blade and decided he would never, ever hesitate to use it again.

Erwin’s moment, apparently, came in the form of two drunk stragglers bumbling their way out of a seedy bar, nearly tripping over themselves on the way out before one of their eyes caught onto the delectables in his grasp. Levi leaned over the railing of the bridge above them, watching passively as he recognized the latched, single-minded leer of a man starving. “Hey there kiddo,” he smiled, missing teeth rotted and lips twisted in a grimace. “What’s uh, what'cha got there?”

Naive as he was was Erwin wasn't an idiot; his shoulders tensed up but he remained undeterred. “Excuse me,” he said, trying to duck past them before the other man reached out and stopped him by the shoulder. Levi’s mouth curled downward.

“Now hold on, hold on, no need to leave so soon, eh? Ha. You see me and my coworker here…” his voice muffled down below and Levi leaned closer, pressing himself closer over the edge. He strained his ears, just catching drunken snippets stumbling over each other until Erwin’s voice rose above the gibberish.

“This is stolen property,” he threatened, glaring but visibly uncomfortable. “If you take it from me you’ll get involved in charges of theft.” And Levi wanted to shake his head because _he still isn’t getting it;_ it doesn’t matter who did what at this point and, with or without the damn goods in tow he’s likely to get a beating or get thrown into a cell all the same. He pushed himself off and got ready to leave when he heard another scuffle and a sudden “Where do you think you’re going?” - and Erwin barely got the chance to jump back before they lunged at him.

_Oh shit._

Levi’s brows rose. He was surprised but not shocked; if he nearly lost his life for pocket change, of course someone like Erwin would get mugged over an armful of damn apples. You could tell just by looking at him that the kid came from a sheltered life, deaf to their violent language and as good as blind in a fist-fight. He was doomed from the get-go, even so… Levi flinched when one of their elbows came striking down onto Erwin’s nose and the kid jerked back with a gasp, blood splattering out his face in a sickening spray of red. _Shit._

One kid against several others hurt like hell, though looking back Levi knew they were all just as scrawny and just as starved, thin-limbed and weak enough to go down with a solid kick under the knees… But this was another situation entirely: these were grown men with meat in their bodies and in the heat of the fight, too drunk to notice or care about the apples that already rolled off to stop now. Levi didn’t know when his grip on the railing began to tighten, began to shake - he watched and waited with his breath held for Erwin to finally give up the goods and make a run for it. It was his best shot at getting away while he still could and, damn it all, Levi wouldn’t even scold him for it anymore. He’d share what he had left and he’d patch the poor fool up and call it even. 

_So give up now and run for it._

But, similar to how he learned of his own ruthless nature after his first beatdown, he found himself suddenly learning something new about the boy from above: he was wholly, thoroughly and utterly _uncompromising -_ the stubborn bastard threw his entire body over the last two apples and curled over them like a small mouse rolling itself into a ball to hide. 

He might actually die.

And something in Levi snapped.

He didn’t even know he’d vaulted off the railing until his feet hit the cobblestone below and he took off running, breathing heavy, yanking a solid rock off the floor before winding his arm back and throwing it into the face of the man who kicked him first. In a sickening crunch he stumbled back and collapsed onto the wall in a heap, his friend swearing loudly at the sight. He turned to lunge at Levi, hands just barely grazing the top of his hair before he ducked below and swept his feet underneath him, grabbing the man's collar as he fell and using the momentum to smash their heads together. He knocked out on contact and Levi let him go, turning to meet a stunned pair of eyes. Red and blue. Erwin was the first to look away, dropping his gaze to the floor. He raised a battered hand to wipe the trail of blood from his nose. 

There was nothing Levi could think to say; any verbal lashing he had planned or “I told you so” died on his tongue at the somber look on Erwin’s face. He helped him pick up what was left in silence and when they got ready to leave it was Erwin who, despite everything, still turned to look back at the two collapsed men. “Is that one alright?” he asked. Levi glanced over his shoulder; though the man he’d headbutted was groaning, the other - the one whose head he smashed a rock into - lied completely still and slouched against the wall, half-obscured by the shadows.

“He’ll be fine,” he lied.

Erwin didn’t reply and said nothing more on the walk home. He was quiet when they reunited with the others and quiet when Levi had regaled some made-up story about him falling down a heavy set of stairs and breaking his nose, losing half the apples they had along the way. He even stayed silent when Levi wiped down the cuts on his hands with cotton balls and pressed a white handkerchief to his bloody nose, the only sound coming from the crackling candle over the nightstand. He’d almost think the boy felt no pain at all if it weren’t for the occasional wince or sharp intake of air every time he pressed too hard into a bruise.

Levi was not the comforting type. Far from it, actually, barely able to even comfort himself when the dread became too much and the ache in his bones too heavy. He owed nothing to this boy, even so... “Everyone learns,” he found himself saying. “That’s just the way it is.”

“I see,” Erwin said. His eyes were downcast.

Levi shuffled in his seat. "Me and Furlan checked around earlier, by the way. We asked around the marketplace but there were no missing posters of you."

"So, no one's looking for me." It wasn't a question.

"We don't know that. It takes time for news to reach down here," Levi said, even though he didn't believe it. He'd been abandoned once too. "Plus, the marketplace is just too big of a city. It'd take a while to thoroughly look for any missing posters, not mention ones with a high reward. Days, weeks even - the trouble isn't worth it, really." Lie. "Several months from now, when the autumn season kicks in, uptown vendors and nuns and preists all alike come down here to do last-minute business before the winter kicks in. Because you're one of them, it's likely that they'll take you back - the preists, if nothing else. It'll be a while until then but if you want it, the attic door is open and we can bring up some blankets for you. You can even stay down here with us for tonight."

Erwin stared at the floor. Then slowly, he nodded, thanking him politely. When the time came for everyone to sleep he crawled into his mattress in the far side of the room and curled into himself just as he’d done earlier, the last apple cradled tightly to his chest. 

And when Levi awoke early the next morning, groggy and restless all at once, he felt a bump next to his foot and saw that same apple now lying by the edge of his bed. Somewhere in the night Erwin had gotten up and left it next to him, placed it neatly by the foot of his blankets. Confused, he looked across the room, past Furlan and Isabelle to the wall where the boy had his back turned to him. In the dark, he could make out his small bruised body wound tightly into a ball, sobbing quietly. 

To think just a few weeks ago it felt like the chill of winter would never end; now, as Levi quietly turned away and pretended to go back to sleep, he wondered if the cold had finally begun to thaw.


	3. Changing of Seasons

A while after the incident Erwin’s arm (among other small wounds) healed and he was finally able to shrug off his cast and help more around the house. He begins joining Isabelle on her mid-week trips to the scrapyard and stays late into the night with Furlan exchanging ideas, quickly catching onto his makeshift system of hideaways and escape routes. It’s a surprising sense of intellect the gang hadn’t considered sooner; he’s educated, literate enough to glide through the scribbles of paper Furlan had struggled so hard to decipher.

It's a valuable asset. Maybe even more valuable than apples; there were one too many illiterate underground hounds leaping at the chance to strike into the world of forgery and mapping, eager to plan out heists in a language only they can read. It's because of that that he begins to watch Erwin a little more closely when they leave the house, watching his blue eyes dart away from the lights and towards the shadowy crooks they pass, a once curious gaze now cautiously alert. It pricks him in a way he can’t quite describe, seeing bright-eyes full of wonder dull just around the edges. The two boys reached an understanding in that regard; Levi would never again doubt him on his word and in turn he would never again question what they had to do to survive.

Time passes, Isabelle teaches him how to punch a jaw and Levi shows him how to break it, they walk the streets and spend the afternoons mapping out the routes as they go, and soon enough even the other street kids began to catch on that another member had merged into their gang. It was impossible not to - wherever Erwin went, the dark-haired monster was just a few steps behind. With every glare he sent to anyone who wandered too close, the message had been made clear: fuck with the team, and the others come after you. Fuck with Erwin, and _Levi_ comes after you.

“They avoid me like the plague,” he said, brows raised as another two boys anxiously shuffled away. “Then again, that may make sense. No one knows if there’s any chance of me carrying bacteria from above ground.”

Levi scoffed, clicking his teeth. “Doubtful. I would have sent you packing if I found out you had some kind of germ clinging onto you.” He walked ahead with his arms crossed, casually throwing a glance around before slipping into the corner shack and holding the door open. “Watch and learn how it’s done.”

“We’re just trading with the guy. You make it sound like we’re going into battle.”

 _Might as well be,_ Levi thought; he squared his shoulders, fixed his frown to a look that’d make even Kenny proud, and walked forward with a bravado strut before reaching the counter and slamming the sack onto the wooden counter with a clang. “Evening, Pat,” he nodded.

“Evening, Ackerman, I s’pose this is the sack of bottles your gal was on about.” The man sniffed, plucking one out of the bag and running his finger over the glass edge. “Eight coppers.”

“Twelve,” Levi shot back.

“Uh-uh kid, I’ve got a business to run. Nine.”

Levi leaned closer, hands on the counter. “I’ve got mouths to feed. Eleven.”

“Ten and a half and I’ll let you off with something from one of the bins in the back.”

“What’s in the back?” Erwin piped in. Levi shot him a frown from over his shoulder. _Rookie._ The barman took his chance with a grin and gestured for him to go and see, clearly amused at seeing the infamous Levi gawk at his friend as he shuffled towards the back and stepped on his tiptoes to peer inside.

He almost looked embarrassed when he turned back to the counter. “Ignore him,” he said. “I want eleven copper coins for this sack of bottles or you’ll be serving your beers in clay pots.”

“Levi, look!” Erwin called. He grinned and pulled out a discarded paper packet with sticks of charcoal inside. 

The barman leaned back with his arms crossed, looking all too smug. “Looks like your friend approves the offer.”

Levi scowled. “To hell with him. There’s not a chance I’m giving my offer away over something so useless, so pointless and _so_ damn unnecessary like a-”

“Thanks for coming, bye!” 

The door closed on them and Levi grumbled and swore all the way home. “Remind me why we’re walking home with just ten and a half coppers?” he mumbled, sending a particularly mean glare at both Erwin and his stupid charcoal.

“Because you can’t put a price on learning.” Erwin raised one of the snapped ends, eyeing it before turning to him with a smile. “You’ll thank me for it once you’re able to write entire letters with these.”

“Oh yeah, and why would I want to do that?”

“So someone else can read them. How about I use one of these and write you something right now?”

“What?” Levi stopped in his steps, watching the boy circle around him. Blue eyes darted across the buildings - shooting a cautionary glance at a nearby straggler - before lighting up once he found a suitable surface. He ran up ahead and Levi followed after, letting out a scoff at the sight of his scrawny body scrambling over a pile of bags to the side a small abandoned shack, lit only by the lights coming off the bar next door. There, he crouched down and pulled out a charcoal stick, scribbling something against the side of the wall in dark smudged letters.

“Vandalism is wrong,” he said, blowing at his finished work. “But I don’t think anyone will mind this time. So what do you think?”

“I think it looks like chopped lines and I think it stinks here, can we go?”

“No. It’s a message just for you, aren’t you curious to know what it is?”

 _Just for you._ In a strange way, the wording made it sound like he was about to receive a gift. And thinking about it, when was the last time he’d gotten something, had something made for just him in mind? He shuffled a bit in his shoes, swaying in his stance before finally giving in. “Alright,” Levi begrudged, pointing to the first character. “What’s this?”

“H.”

He pointed to the next.

“E.”

Next.

“L.”

The next character looked the same. “That an L too?”

“Yes.”

Levi paused, rounding up the letters in his head. “Is the last one here supposed to be an ‘O’? Did you drag me behind a pile of trash to say hello?”

“There’s still more, look.”

At that Levi’s brows rose, recognizing the recurring ‘L’ and pointing to the next character, already guessing what the next word was going to be but holding himself back from simply saying it. “Is this going to be an ‘E’?"

Erwin nodded. “And that one is a ‘V.’”

“And here’s the ‘I,’” he breathed, “Levi.” _Hello, Levi._

He ran his eyes over the cluster of dark characters, running his finger underneath each mark and mouthing the sound. Such a meaningless message scribbled on the side of an abandoned shack, yet, undoubtedly his. _Hello, Levi._

The corner of his mouth twitched upwards. “Hello, Erwin. Can we leave?”

“Yes, the smell is starting to bother me too. Let’s go.”

The two headed home and, to Levi’s begrudging admission, he found that the sticks of charcoal weren’t the biggest piece of junk he’s ever brought home. He can’t deny it when Isabel’s face lights up as soon as she gets her hands on one and starts to doodle random shit on the street (after he scolded her not to do it indoors.) Furlan on the other hand, immediately put his to use by measuring their sizes because - as he kept insisting - he was still very much the tallest kid in their group. He had the four of them line up against the corner beam of their small flat and ran the dark stick just over their hair, marking the wood with a single dark line. When it was his turn to be measured the boy had to be reminded twice and threatened once to stop trying to make himself look bigger, and the devastated look on his face when he realized Erwin was just centimeters away had Isabelle in tears laughing on the floor.

“It’s not fair!” he insisted into bedtime, grumbling under the covers. 

“Life’s not fair,” Levi sniped back, “I’m just barely passing Isabelle.” He kicked her foot. “Oi, you better not hit a growth spurt and leave me behind, got it?”

Erwin shot a cheeky grin at Furlan on his way up the stairs. “I can feel a growth spurt coming on right now.”

“Hey!”

“Alright goodnight everyone, I’m turning out the candles.”

“Wait, has anyone seen my blanket?”

“Check if Isi took it. She always steals the good ones.”

“No I don’t!”

 _“Goodnight.”_ The room went dark with a puff of air and a trail of smoke.

* * *

There was a whimper in the dark. Levi stirred.

“Ngh.” Another sucked in breath, then a shaky sigh, and his eyes opened. He squinted into the dark, peering up at the ceiling before sliding his gaze over to the window. Faint lights from the nearby bars lit the streets below and aside from the occasional straggler and drunken banter, the muffled sound didn’t seem to come from out there. Levi sat up and as he did another soft sound emerged, something like a muffled thud. It was enough to wake him up proper; he stood at attention and whipped out the knife from under his pillow, darting his eyes over Furlan and Isabelle’s beds. Furlan was snoring into his pillow per usual, and Isabelle had dropped her blanket to the floor and threw her leg over the edge of her bed. So that leaves just Erwin.

 _It could just be another fucking rat._ He poked his head into the hallway to peer into the kitchen. Empty. Padding into the living room showed the front door was untouched, a chair still propped up under the knob and a string of bells hanging quiet over the entrance and windows. Good. So all that’s left would be… another thump sounded from right above his head and Levi let out a small gasp, near knocking over a chair in his rush up the stairs and swinging open the attic door to reveal wide blue eyes.

The two boys stared at each other in surprise. Levi panted, eyes darting towards the open window before he found himself scowling and closing the door behind him. “What do you think you’re doing stomping up and down the damn floors opening windows?” he harshly whispered, stalking towards the blonde. He unclenched the knife in his fist but struggled to keep it from trembling. “Here I thought a burglar had broken in here. Did you forget the three of us are…”

Levi trailed off at the sight of bags under Erwin’s eyes. He didn’t look as sheepish as he usually did when Levi told him off for leaving crumbs on the table or forgetting to properly hang their clothes out - if anything he just looked worn out, like a rag wrung damp then thrown over a rack to dry. “What’s with that sorry mug?” he murmured instead, the words coming out crude but the sound coming out soft. His steps came to a stop by the foot of his bed. “You can’t sleep?”

“Not tonight,” Erwin admitted. He yawned and rubbed the bottom of his eye with his palm. “I wasn’t trying to be loud, I just wanted to open the window a bit.”

“Tch. It’s early spring.” Levi padded over to him and lowered the window to a crack. “Leave it like this just in case a cold breeze kicks in.”

“Okay. Thank you.” Levi stopped to give him another look, frown softening when he peered into his eyes. He’d seen the very same look in the mirror before, knew the blank, glassy eyes that came from a nightmare that hadn’t left. 

Levi knew keeping quiet about it would just prolong the tossing and turning; he’d dealt with Isabelle’s nightmares before. Usually with her and her pride, he’d have to pretend to be focused on doing something else, feign disinterest before she eventually caved and told him what it was about; likewise, Levi turned around and fiddled with the bells over the window, making sure they’d chime every time the glass was disturbed while he waited for Erwin to crack. When he finished and found there wasn’t anything else to do, he sighed and settled on the edge of his bed. “What was it about?” Levi finally asked. “You won’t get much out of the day if you can’t even sleep. So, what happened?”

Erwin’s eyes sunk to the floor. He almost looked reluctant, mouth opening and closing before his eyes darted up and met Levi’s, knowing at once if he tried lying his way out the boy would just call him out on it. He sighed. “I think… I remember something about being above. Or more like, how I fell from it.”

Oh? Levi’s brows rose in interest. Erwin took a breath and continued, “It’s not anything useful, to be honest, it was just dark; dark trees, dark dirt, starry skies and cold air. My heart was pounding. I kept running forward and it was just beating so hard and so loud I was scared it could be heard from outside my own skin. It hurt to breathe and it felt like I was breathing ice, and my legs felt like I was running through fire! I remember these...pines, just scratching below my knee. And then it went dark. And then I woke up.” He paused before giving Levi a wry smile. “That wasn’t very helpful, was it.”

“Better than nothing. Why were you running?”

Erwin’s shoulders rose, then dropped. “I don’t know. It was just scary.” Similar to the night he’d been beaten to the ground by two drunkards, a faraway sadness cast over his eyes. It was a strange sight to see on a kid; when Isabelle got sad, she huffed and puffed her chest in a show of bravado only to crumble shortly after - when Furlan became upset, he’d simply skulk off somewhere where no one could see him and trickle into tears. And Levi - Levi would just sigh and bear it and take it into him like the embrace of an old friend. He’d wrap himself tight into his misery until it became interwoven into his skin and near impossible to distinguish. It just… _became_ him, to a point where it was hard to imagine there was ever time it hadn’t. 

He’d seen that same kind of forlorn acceptance when Levi patched him up, and seeing it on him now gave him the same sudden rush to _protect_ \- to wipe that look off his face as thoroughly as possible and close the distance between them. Once again he found himself moving before he even realized it, a strange sense of solidarity compelling him to snag Erwin’s hand in his own and squeeze tight enough to bring him back. “Oi,” he softly said when their eyes met. “Don’t go where I can’t follow.”

Erwin blinked, slowly, before he rose as though his soul had just awoken from a slumber and wanted to shake itself off. He sat up and breathed in, letting out a slow exhale. “I’m anxious,” he admitted, looking down at their hands. Levi felt the back of his neck flush but held on from pulling away in fear it’d draw more attention. “I can’t help but feel like I’m missing something important… Surely I must have had a home up there. I must have had a family, or a friend - _someone_ waiting for me on the other side of the hole.”

Levi said nothing.

Their eyes met again, now terribly close, where he could see himself reflected in pools of blue staring back wide-eyed and...so, so small. Is this what Erwin sees when he looks at him? He suddenly remembered the marble plaque of the goddesses, quietly catching dust in an abandoned cathedral with their eyes to the ceiling. And suddenly Erwin’s gaze was too intense, too much - it overwhelmed him.

“What if they’re still waiting?” he whispered, “What did I run from?”

“As if I’d know!” Levi broke off their hands and clumsily got to his feet; his entire back felt hot and his heart was beating faster than a sinner’s in church. Just standing - just _breathing_ \- felt too loud now. “I - uh,” he fumbled, looking anywhere else but at Erwin. “If you’re that worried about the past, that satchel of yours - I found it.” The wood beneath his feet felt cold. Lying had never felt so stiff before. “It was in the scrapyard and I brought it back this morning, figured I’d tell you about it tomorrow but...you look like you could use it.”

“Oh?” Erwin’s brows rose. “It must be empty now, since everything must have fallen out with me.”

“Not everything. There were two books and some scraps of paper inside. I can leave them out for you.”

“Is that so?” Erwin nearly looked relieved, a ghost of a smile threatening to surface. “Thank you, Levi, I would like that very much.”

So Levi nodded, scuttled downstairs, reached under his bed - gently pushing aside his mother’s box - before pulling out Erwin’s bag, completely intact if not for the money and bolo tie they’d already swiped (who said he’d give _everything_ back?) 

When he came back upstairs with the bag and books in tow, Erwin’s door was open and a candle was lit, a chair pulled out from the corner to sit beside the bed. There Erwin waited for him, legs crossed over his blankets watching him with a smile.

_He wants you to stay._

He could leave tough. It’s late, and the excuse is laid out for him in so many words, one piled over the other in a mesh of tangled thoughts and dormant desires only surfacing now because he was too tired and too sleepy to fight them off anymore.

_I have to get up early tomorrow. (I have to work, but I really don't want to go.)_

_I’m sleepy, I’ll see you in the morning. (Will you be up by then?)_

_I think I just want to go back to bed (not that I can sleep either.)_

_I can’t even read the pages. (Will you read it to me?)_

_I won’t understand the story. (Explain it to me.)_

_I have nightmares too, Erwin. I want to forget about them too. I want to dream about something else._

“Yeah alright,” he said instead. He sat on the chair and pretended to look mildly annoyed, crossing his arms for effect as Erwin plucked out two books from his sachel. He glanced between the two covers, blue eyes darting back and forth before settling a book with a picture of a woman standing over a grassy hill. “A fantasy romance, ooh.” He waved the book with a delighted grin. “Are you ready?”

“On the edge of my very seat.”

Ignoring his sarcasm Erwin flipped over the pages, landing on the first and opening his mouth to read. Whether he had always read so slow or was trying to be considerate Levi didn’t know, but hearing him slowly pronounce the bigger words, he leaned back in his seat and closed his eyes to the sound, exhaustion finally winning him over. The world had never felt so quiet; he couldn't hear any drunks bumbling about outside, couldn't hear arguments from down the street or through an open window. Between the whispered hiss of the candle wick burning and the hushed words of a story unfolding, a soft world began to paint itself in the back of Levi's mind, imaginary buds and strands flowering beneath his feet.

It was true he'd never seen a meadow before, and probably never will. But drifting off to sleep he could almost see the yellow stalks sprouting far into the distance where the ground met the sky.


End file.
